Pregnancy And Infant Loss Awareness 2019

No one wants to talk about this - neither did I. Now that I am a bereaved mother I want to talk about it as much as possible so that others might learn from my experience. This is my attempt to bring awareness to pregnancy and infant loss in 2019.

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People Pleasing & Pregnancy

We do not want to make waves even though there is something churning in our gut that says “I do not agree with that” or “I do not understand why”. We do not want to upset “our superior” as we subconsciously view them. We do not want to run the risk of offending them. So we just nod our head in acceptance all while we just tightly secured our seatbelt in the passenger seat of our pregnancy, labor and birth.

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“do your best”

I came across a piece of paper with the tiny words “do your best”.

In that moment I started crying, and not because of pregnancy hormones. I cried because in all the books I read, in all the research I had done, of all the conversations I had up to that point all had a pointed tone of failure. If you do this you’re a bad mom, if you do that you’re a bad mom. There is was no winning.

At that moment with still a handful of pieces of paper left to go through I already knew this was the winning piece of paper. I asked who the paper belonged to. A sheepish little hand popped up. The tiny hand belonged to a little girl. When I saw it was her hand I was overwhelmed with emotion.

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“Mommy Juice”

 “I just need a break!” She yelled not at anyone in particular, but as a cry out of desperation. She grabbed the keys to the car and left the house while her husband bathed their almost two-year-old right after he got home from work. She headed for the liquor store. It had been a long week of potty training, tantrums, whining, & crying and she needed a drink.  

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Baby Registry vs Birth Registry

What I am saying is when the focus is on the decor and cupcake flavors and everyone wants to help plan a party, but no one shows up to help with dishes, laundry, and meal prep 3 weeks postpartum our priorities as a society need to be reevaluated.

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PAIL - Pregnancy and Infant Loss

 “Your hCG levels have dropped by half since your last beta test, and there was nothing on your ultrasound. I’m sorry but you’re no longer pregnant. Do you want to schedule a D&C now or call back?”

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28

My 27th year I fully embodied my name. Noble Strength. 

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5 Years

“We are where we are in life today because we not only trusted God by taking MANY leaps of faith, but because we trudged through YEARS of being uncomfortable.“

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Audrey ThorpComment
Self Advocate Pt. 2

Informed concent is so incredibly important and you deserve to be knowledgeable before you’re in labor.

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Peace

Today would have been my estimated due date for our second baby... our baby "Olive".

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Evil vs. Good

“My God did not put me through this so I could help others.'“

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The Fruit Tree

For Christmas last year I was gifted a citrus tree and an avocado tree.

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Our Breastfeeding Journey

When I was 12 years old I made the decision to get a breast reduction. I was a 36DD and miserable. I couldn’t run and be as active as I wanted to, and would go to bed at night in excruciating pain. One of the questions I had pre-op was “will I still be able to breastfeed?”

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