Our Birth Story- Atlas Wade

Sunday June 28th - Zach had off all weekend so we spent the majority of our time in the pool since my hips were so uncomfortable. Atlas was low and engaged in my pelvis since 36 weeks and it was starting to take it’s toll.

The day prior I had an emotional breakdown from still being pregnant (and a lot of other stressors to be honest) and I knew that I was not mentally coping as well as I would have thought - especially since I was pregnant with Evie for over 41 weeks. 

I had a few twinges and pinches so I took that as a sign to start doing what I could to help start labor. We walked, and I started doing my labor circuit of lunges, hip figure 8’s and bouncing on my birth ball. Zach and I had sex with nipple, clitoral stimulation and the cherry on top nice orgasms for both of us - dual purposes 1) not knowing when we would have another opportunity since I needed to feel close and intimate with him and 2) to help start labor with all the wonderful oxytocin flowing through my body. 

We got back from our walk around 5:15 pm and I was frustrated because I did not have any waves (even small practice ones) during our walk or even immediately after. 

I took a shower and laid down on the bed. I moved on to the birth ball closer to 7pm since I started having pretty noticeable cramps. I thought I was dehydrated from doing all the things to start labor so I started downing my water hoping that would relieve them. Since they were starting to be more frequent and more in a pattern I started timing them at 8:09pm. 

At 8:40pm I called my mom to give her a heads up that I could possibly be in labor but also could just be dehydrated. I decided I was going to take a bath at the suggestion of Evie. “Mommy if your hips are hurting, go take a bath!” 

I started filling the bathtub and Zach was finishing up some birth tub prep in our bedroom. I stood in the bathtub as the water covered my ankles, I looked up and from across the house locked eyes with Zach, and immediately became overwhelmed with emotions. I knew I was in labor. 

I laid in the bathtub and watched as my abdomen would tighten and release over and over. I got out after about 20 minutes and made my way into our room. I sat in the same glider I did when I labored with Evie and started listening to my hypnobirthing scripts. 

I told Zach to call the videographer & photographer at this point since they were coming from Tampa and they would need additional time to get here. 

I called my midwife at 9:50pm to give her a heads up that I was pacing 5 minutes apart with waves lasting almost a minute each and it had been going on for a little over an hour. I told her I was still coping really well and able to talk through everything and wasn’t uncomfortable - just to give her a heads up that I may be calling her in a couple of hours. I honestly at this point still did not “feel” like I was in active labor since I was still coping so well.

Evie asked to watch her birth video at 10pm so she sat on the bed while I rocked back and forth through my waves. My mom arrived at the house and put Evie to bed since it had been so late. 

My mom had been my primary support person during Evie’s labor and birth - this time Zach was everything and more than what I needed. 

At this point sitting in my glider was so uncomfortable, the ball was not giving any relief either and I had to urinate in between literally every wave. I would have a wave, walk to the bathroom as soon as it stopped, walked back to the bedroom, and another wave would start. This pattern continued up until birth.

Our videographer and photographer arrived at 11:45pm. I gave Zach the green light to call our midwife and let her know that my waves were 3 mins apart and that I am requesting her to start making her way over to the house now. 

I attempted to get some relief in the birth tub but even that was not providing the relief I needed. I got out and resorted to the fact that I would just continue to labor on my feet for the duration of it. 

For Atlas’ labor I got very vocal around midnight with primal “om’s” and low diaphragmatic breaths. I would mix it up by rotating my hips and telling Atlas to “wiggle baby, wiggle baby” as I moved around to help him get into position. Some waves brought me to my tippy-toes and I had to remind myself to release my muscles and just sway with them. 

Zach wore his Noble Strength tank-top, so my focal point throughout everything was staring a hole into the word “Strength” on the front of his shirt. If I wasn’t doing that I was staring so deep into Zach’s eyes that I was almost looking through him. He held me, swayed with me, walked me to the bathroom, comforted me, and was my constant “it’s ok” throughout everything. 

There were a few waves back to back that I did not have an opportunity to “come up for air” and it provided me enough time to mentally walk through what it would take to get to the hospital, triage, into a room, and eventually get some pain management. After all of that I came to the realization that I could not sit in my glider for more than a few seconds, let alone drive in a car. I knew if I was feeling this way it meant things were nearing the end, so I continued aloud with my “I can do this” mantra. 

My midwife arrived at the house at 1am, June 29th. We had already discussed that I did not intend to have cervical exams during labor unless she felt it medically necessary. She checked Atlas’ heart tones and my vitals. I asked her if she felt I needed to be checked and she said not unless I wanted her to. I asked her to because I felt like I was hitting a wall with my coping, I needed to know how open I was so I could mentally prepare for how much more I had to work through. This was a personal choice and I had mentally prepared for the possibility of hearing a 3-4cm since it is just a number that can change very quickly.

I told her that if she did not want to check me then I was doing to put on a diaper since I could not keep walking to the bathroom every couple minutes. She gave me a mischievous smile and I went to the bathroom one last time. 

When I sat down I had my first and only birth show (my uterine seal never released / dislodged) and had my first physical sign that gave me hope I was progressing. Zach and I did a celebratory “yay!” I had a slight urge to bear down (which I never had with Evie) so I felt down to see if I could feel anything. I did not feel anything but figured now would be as good as time as any to try another tool to boost oxytocin. I started clitoral stimulations and it helped me cope SO much better for those few waves in the bathroom and then went out to have my cervix checked. 

I heard her say “bulging bag of waters” and that was it. I sat up and asked what I was opened to and her response was “over 9”. 

That was all I needed to hear. “Oh hallelujah, thank you Jesus!” She said he was still a little high up so I asked what station he was positioned in as I climbed into the birth tub. She said he was a -1. 

I huffed out of a little frustration and Zach asked why so I told him that he needed to be at a +4 to be resting on my perineum. My midwife giggled at me and said “you women in labor say the funniest things”. 

I started instinctually swirling my hips. I told my midwife that I was feeling the urge to bear down and asked if I was OK to go ahead. She said if your body is telling you to then go ahead. I explained that I was asking if I would do more damage if I was impatient vs waiting a few more waves and possibly doing less damage to my pelvic floor and perineum. She suggested giving it two more before I pushed. 

Zach now laughs that I made it one and a half waves before my body took over and started to birth our baby. Since we are talking about sex, nipple, & clitoral stimulation I figured it only be fair to also share that in between pushes / breaths I felt the urge to also have a bowel movement, and no I don’t mean in the “well yea, you’re about to push a baby out” have a bowel movement. I knew there was going to be more than a baby coming out with one of my pushes. That’s when I could feel my eyes get huge out of panic as I locked onto Zach’s eyes. As I tell the families that I support - poop happens sometimes in birth. 

I could have let that mentally inhibit me from going with my birthing body, but instead my body took over and there was no going back. I bore down once and my membranes released, a second time, his head was born, and a third and final time and the rest of his body came out. There was no “ring of fire”, just massive relief.

When I pulled Atlas up at 1:30am and I saw his face, I saw the same face his sister had when she was born. He looked so much like my mom. I then saw I had instinctively known since I was 9 weeks pregnant - I just gave birth to our son. Our precious baby boy that I never knew I needed so badly in my life. 

When I pulled him out of the water I thought I heard him take on a little water when he first inhaled. He was alert and breathing fine initially but after a few minutes he started to loose color in his face and his lips started to turn a little dark. 

Our midwife assessed him and had me continue to keep him warm in the water as she suctioned his mouth, then she had me get out of the tub. I started to rub his chest to get circulation going when she told me to put my mouth on his to help him breathe. She calmly went to get the oxygen started. I looked back at Zach for the first time during this and the look on his face was understandably panic. I assured him that Atlas just needs a little more help. 

I continued to give him a few breaths as I was rubbing his torso and chest. All that was going through my mind was that God did not bring us this far with our baby for it to end here. In a split second I refused to allow that to be our reality. I calmly started talking to him. “Atlas, wake up. Atlas Wade look at mommy. Atlas in Jesus’ name wake up. I speak life to you.” etc.

Our midwife gave me the oxygen mask to rest on his face and then she asked for me to give him to her. She turned him on his stomach and started to hit his back slightly more aggressively than a burping would be. 

Just like that he started crying and his color returned. I turned and looked at Zach and saw the same face he had when Evie was placed on my chest. Just pure overwhelming emotion. 

We sat there on the floor in between our bed and the birth tub with meconium, blood, and water all over us and so so thankful to hear his baby cries. Due to the position we were in Zach felt more comfortable having our midwife cut his umbilical cord. I was already having the urge to birth my placenta. 

A few slight breaths down and my placenta was out. Zach took Atlas and started skin to skin as I went to get showered and cleaned up since I was covered in all things birth from the waist down. 

I dried off and dawned my postpartum diapers as I waddled into our bed and just soaked up my baby boy. 

Zach went and woke up Evie. She walked in and saw her baby brother that she had been loving on for so long as he grew inside me. Her eyes lit up in a way I pray I never forget. She fell in love with him immediately. She then looked over and saw the birth tub and realized that she had missed his birth and she did not get a chance to be in the tub with me like she had requested profusely in the weeks leading up to his birth. She was disappointed, but quickly moved on at the fact that she count count his fingers and toes. I had every intention of allowing her to attend his birth, but it worked out exactly how it should have. I don’t feel like I could have been as calm as I needed to be when we were trying to get Atlas to breathe as I was had Evie been present. Again, it worked out exactly how it needed to be.

After his weight, measurements, and vitals were checked and he had his first latch at 3:00am the house started to resume a calm. Evie settled back into the other room with my mom. My midwife left as quietly as she arrived and shortly after our videographer and photographer followed suite. Zach and I tucked in for our first morning with our newborn baby boy still in shock from the fact of how fast everything happened, and the fact that we now have two babies earth-side to love on. 

Start to finish my labor was 6 hours and 30 minutes. My manifestation and prayer for my entire pregnancy was 6-8 hours in length labor and that is exactly what we got! I know I would not have been as calm as I was while we tried to get him to breathe had it not been for my NRP training (regardless if I did everything correctly or not) I knew he just needed a little help.

I give glory to God for His hand of protection over our pregnancy, labor, birth, and not only our health but how healing this birth experience was for me. This birth healed so many wounds that I had from Evie’s birth and gave me the experience I had manifested for all my pregnancies. I was in charge of decisions, I listened to my body, and I felt comfortable in my home uninhibited. The only ones in attendance were those that I genuinely wanted to hold space for this holy experience. Ugh, I can not express just how h̶a̶p̶p̶y̶ elated I am with this birth.

I am forever grateful to my midwife, Cathy for being so incredibly supportive of me and my intuition throughout my pregnancy and birth (which is something that we discussed was my intention) and she stepped in for our birth only when we needed more medical attention than what I was able to provide.

The fact that our videographer & photographer made a HUGE exception to attend this birth even though they no longer offer birth coverage, means more than we will ever be able to thank them. Taylor family, you will always hold a special place in our hearts. Thank you for capturing our most precious moments in life and doing so giving us priceless tangible treasures.

Mom and grandma for being on call 24/7 for weeks! Thank you for making sure Evie was always going to be taken care of.

My husband for being so incredible. Holding me, not just physically but emotionally and mentally. For keeping my mind in check and the support I needed for labor and birth. Thank you for doing this with me.