How I healed from Postpartum Mood DIsorders without a Prescription
Celebrities are talking about their experiences, and most pregnancy and postpartum social media feeds have a hands-full of influencers talking about their experience with postpartum mood disorders. My hope is that this discussion is being had in our homes, with our families, and in our communities. The discussion of postpartum mood disorders has also included the discussion of prescriptions to help treat, which is amazing! There should be no shame in someone seeking treatment and healing in any capacity. This post is not shaming anyone who decided to go the route of prescription healing! This is me sharing that it is not the only choice or route of healing and my experience.
I was about 4 months postpartum from birthing our second baby 9 weeks into our pregnancy. At that point, I realized that I had not been myself… not for a couple of weeks, or months, but almost two years. This was two years after the birth of our first daughter. I have a few posts on how my experience with postpartum mood disorders (in my case postpartum depression and anxiety) in my archives that I invite you to read over. This is a look at how I managed to not only heal from ppmds but how I managed to do this without a prescription for depression or anxiety*.
A little history on why I did not want to heal with prescriptions: At the age of 16 I had been diagnosed with IBS. It was not until I was 20 that my primary care provider took me seriously and made the referral to a specialist. It was then that I was told that I would be on a prescription for the rest of my life. I asked my specialist if dietary changes might be beneficial and he simply said “no” as he wrote on his prescription pad. When I went to fill the prescription I saw that it came with a black label - the black box warning. It stated that it should not be taken when pregnant or trying to become pregnant due to the fact it could abort a pregnancy. When I read that I was enraged due to the conversation I had with the specialist that we were, in fact, trying to get pregnant. I decided to do as much research as possible as to how to heal my body from the inside out with diet and healthy movement. This experience made me wary of prescriptions (in this aspect of my life) and the side effects that usually come with them.
The 3 years following that doctor’s appointment I tried finding the eating and lifestyle that would aid my digestion so I lived as a vegan for about a year, vegetarian for a few months, and I did a Whole30 (right after the Whole30 we got pregnant with our first) which ultimately lead me to a whole food lifestyle. After her birth, I was not as strict with what I ate in my past because we were in what felt like survival mode for 2 years. In fact my first meal postpartum was my mom’s homemade banana bread full of refined sugar and flour - I’m currently facepalming after publicly announcing that because I now know the importance of nutrition during postpartum (not just pregnancy). I did not plan for my postpartum as I did my pregnancy.
When I decided I was going to heal myself the same way I had in the past I decided to start with labs. My OBGYN and primary care physician did not see the importance of running labs since I was “too young for hormone issues”, so it left me to find answers on my own and to pay for labs to be drawn 100% out of pocket. When my results came back I took them to my primary care provider and their response was “No wonder you feel terrible! You have Hashimotos and hypothyroidism” -For those keeping notes, IBS iS one of the symptoms of hypothyroidism - I had been diagnosed with IBS at 16. Again, they wanted to put me on a prescription. I decided to work with a functional medicine doctor to help me get to the root of my diagnosis as well as healing instead of just treating the symptoms.
Here is a synopsis of what I did to heal under the supervision of my care providers:
Lab work
Nutrition / Supplements (AIP diet, and a lot of gut-healthy bone broth and collagen)
Talk Therapy
Healthy Movement (Pilates and walking)
Focusing on Healing your body as a whole (spirit, mind, & body) because there is SUCH a HUGE mind/body connection!
Working with my functional medicine doctor as well as a naturopathic doctor showed me that I was depleted of so many nutrients and minerals. My gut health was shot and as a result, my body was not absorbing the nutrients from the food I was eating (as clean as I had been eating it made no difference). I had IV therapy to help me get these nutrients by bypassing my gut altogether.
During this time I was also healing my spirit, my mind, and my soul. I spent time in therapy and she gave me the tools I was lacking to deal with my anxiety and depression. She stressed how important self-care was even in the smallest form (brushing my hair, taking a shower, etc.) because I had neglected self- care even at a basic level for so long. I added pilates to my routine and I forgot how much my body missed healthy movement. Before we moved to Florida I was an avid runner who ran no less than 4 miles a day and at this point in my life, I was not able to walk around the block without needing 3 days to recoup.
All of these pieces were slowly coming together to form a big picture of my healing.
I noticed I had energy for the first time in what seemed like forever. It took my mental shift a bit longer to catch up. I changed the music I was listening to (from pop and shifted to praise and worship since it matched the spiritual growth I was doing as well). I was going to acupuncture weekly and looked forward to a whole hour to myself without even the option of being on my phone. Just sitting with my thoughts and feelings in addition to the physical benefit I was receiving.
This post is in no way shape or form a way to bash or belittle those that chose to use a prescription to heal from postpartum mood disorders! A lot of families do not have the luxury of time that my healing required and NEED pharmaceutical assistance - there is NO SHAME in that. There are a lot of resources out there to heal that way, and I have had a lot of people reach out and ask how I healed, so I wanted to share my experience and my healing journey under the supervision of multiple care providers.
Here I am over a year of treatment and I’m still healing daily. My body is slowly releasing the unhealthy weight it’s been holding on to so tightly. My labs keep looking better and better to the point that my husband and I are comfortable trying to conceive again. This is to show you that my course of healing takes a lot of time and patience. I have bad days and amazing days and overall I am so thankful for experiencing parenthood this past year out of the fog of postpartum mood disorders.
As I teach standard childbirth education my favorite classes to teach are on postpartum healing and support. If I can help one family know what signs to look for, or even better how to plan and support the 4th trimester then I will know this painful time in the depths of postpartum mood disorders was not for nothing. I can express my experience as a first-hand account, instead of just reading it from a curriculum. It comes from a place of wishing to go back and tell myself to protect from the thief that postpartum mood disorders are. I look at my daughter and unfortunately, all I have are memories of pictures and videos of our first 2 years. I know that if you are reading this as someone who has just been diagnosed with postpartum mood disorders, you are looking for hope.
If you’re a family member of someone experiencing it I know it is also affecting you.
There is hope.
This doesn’t have to be your new normal. All the supplements and or prescriptions in the world can not replace feeling supported by those closest to you. Start asking for help.
I end all of my postpartum classes on this note:
We are more than capable of doing this alone, but that does not mean we are supposed to. Find your village and rally them to help.
*This is in no way shape or form a way to replace seeking professional help or medical advice. This is showing how I worked WITH my care providers, and how I saw several specialists before I decided which route to take for my healing. Please work with your care provider(s) to find the best course of healing for YOU. Also included for full disclosure that part of my healing for hypothyroidism includes a prescription for my thyroid health that I chose to take for the sake of the ability to get my levels within a healthy range to sustain our next healthy viable pregnancy, and I am at peace with the choice I made for that prescription.