Rainbow Baby - Pregnancy After Loss
I decided to wrap up my month-long social media and blog posts on Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness with a post on pregnancy after loss. A rainbow baby is a term used to describe a baby conceived/born after pregnancy loss, miscarriage, stillbirth, or death in infancy. It is compared to the rainbow that sometimes follows a storm.
Pregnancy after loss can be filled with stress and anxiety, especially in the weeks leading up to where the previous pregnancy might have ended. Some may find it difficult to bond during the rainbow pregnancy due to the desire to protect themselves from the anguish of possibly losing this pregnancy.
As a birth worker and a childbirth educator and currently pregnant with our rainbow baby I am sharing this from a place of personal experience of practical application.
From the second I found out I was pregnant I talked to my baby, I held my uterus, and have continued to do so for the past few weeks. Our daughter talks to the baby daily. I am preparing my body and my mind for a full-term pregnancy and a healthy and safe birth. I want my baby to know that they are wanted, loved, and they were prayed for.
What is keeping me sane and as calm as possible over these last few weeks is the same that I recommend during every pregnancy - POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS. Rewiring the brain to think positively and be positive and uplifting.
Prayer is something that I find powerfully effective when I can feel myself getting anxious. I’m currently waiting on labs and that wait in between is enough to keep my thoughts spinning. This is what works for me and my baby.
For those that have maybe experienced pain from pregnancy or infant loss multiple times they may find themselves disconnected from their baby and even their body during this time. I try to remind these families that there is a difference between attachment and bonding. If you feel yourself with the desire to bond with your baby please act on it. Even if your baby does not make it to full-term and live birth, the time that your baby was alive in the womb it will have felt love and that it was wanted. If you have no desire to bond with your baby that’s ok too. Regardless, I recommend talking with a professional during this time.
If you are struggling with anything during your pregnancy talk therapy can be very effective to give you tools to help navigate this time. One thing I have to constantly remind myself is that my baby can feel the stress I am under, and it helps to calm me down and reminds me to keep myself in the parasympathetic realm of the nervous system. Having tools to cope and to keep calm and relaxed during ALL pregnancies is key. Pregnancy is a sign of life, and life no matter how long or short deserves to be celebrated.