Breastfeeding…My Second Time
I came into this breastfeeding relationship with Atlas 10000% more prepared than I was with Evie.
As I mentioned previously I had a breast reduction when I was 12 years old.
Since I had an experience that I did not wish to repeat with Evangeline I put so much effort into preparing for our breastfeeding journey, as well as my postpartum healing.
Stress affects breastfeeding and breastmilk in the most negative of ways. I spent the majority of my breastfeeding relationship with Evie (18+ months) dealing with postpartum anxiety, I knew I could not do it the same way with Atlas.
Atlas’ first time breastfeeding at an hour and a half old…
I decided that I would do whatever I could to make sure that Atlas had a good latch, enjoyed being at my breast, and pray that my supply would be enough to keep him at least entertained with the idea of breastfeeding. I would be at peace with the reality that I may have to supplement again if it meant I was able to breastfeed him in any capacity.
I secured donor milk in the event I would have a low supply as I did previously. I had my IBCLC picked out in the event I would need additional help - I established a relationship with her beforehand so it would be streamlined when / if I needed her assistance.
After he was born we syringe and spoon-fed since he kept getting frustrated at the breast and I was not about to hear “failure to thrive” or that my baby was dehydrated again.
Zach syringe feeding before our IBCLC appointment the next day
My IBCLC was very happy to hear we did not start with a bottle and encouraged us to continue with the syringe for a few additional days before moving to a bottle for supplementation. He still had difficulty latching due to my nipples being semi-inverted. She taught us some exercises (ie stretching my nipple like Gumby) We had our system down.
I attempted to use a nipple shield again which failed miserably this time around, we tried The Bridge only once before something magical happened… At a day or two over a month old, he finally got his first decent latch!
A little over three months old…
Thankfully, with his successful latch that meant I was no longer using my pump!
castor oil pack to help with mastitis
He would breastfeed and then if he was still acting hungry, a bottle of donor milk until he was satisfied. This continued until he was 4 months old when he refused bottles altogether. He did not show any real interest in solids until a little over 7 months old.
With him refusing bottles, and him not on solids yet, that means I sustained him for almost THREE WHOLE MONTHS solely breastfeeding!
Here we are at 13 months into our breastfeeding relationship.
We still co-sleep and he still dream feeds throughout the night, he / I have yet to experience more than one night of him sleeping throughout the night. That said, I also still nap with him at least once a day to help with the sleep deficit.
He enjoys his share of food (we loved baby-lead-weaning with Evie so much we knew it is what would be a natural transition for us) and his water bottle gets extra attention these hot summer days.
I do not see our end anytime soon and I am so thankful. Thankful that I learned from my past experience, and was prepared. Thankful that we are able to have this relationship that is breastfeeding. That my breasts have been used to not only nourish my baby’s body but also as a way to comfort and meet so many other needs than just filling his stomach.
I am beyond thankful for the women who supplied donor milk, some on a regular basis, and some on one-off instances. I’m thankful that my experience can hopefully help to normalize milk-sharing as another option to formula feeding.
Breastfeeding is natural but it does not come naturally for all due to our culture’s lack. Lack of exposure, lack of support, lack of sleep, lack of nourishment, lack of community…
Drop the breastfeeding cover, let others see you use your breasts for what they were designed for. Talk about it! Join a support group, be around other breastfeeding women - especially if you are pregnant for the first time!
Above all else, give yourself grace as you navigate this new relationship that is breastfeeding.